This just feels like way too much :| losing any hope.?

I am going threw a similar situation! Friends are so dirty! They are definitely trying to get with them! Trust me, I've been there. They're main reason is only because YOU were with them. The people that you think you are the closest to are the ones that are out to get you! Don't EVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT! They want you to be hurt and upset. That's why they did it! Let them think that you could careless because you don't have to time for the FAKE stuff! And you really don't. It's gonna get to them! My best advice is to stop talking to all of them and start over. They're going to need you more than your going to need them. Start talking to new people. But I wouldn't get too close with anybody else. I know everything seems really hard right now and it's gonna get harder but I'm sure it will get better. Best Of Luck!